My knees are orange, it must be Spring.

(Captain SP has just pulled all the crockery and glasses, and at last count the rice cooker, out of a cupboard. I told him to be careful but he put up his ‘stop’ hand and said ‘Listen first- I just have to cook and thne I will tidy up’.

What’s to argue with there?

Apparently, I am an optimist. I personally wouldn’t have said this, and I know that Thor definitely founds that concept hilarious when I bounced it off him, but at least two of my close girlfriends have stated that it is the case, so I’m going to give myself the benefit of the doubt. And one of those friends is someone that I met while both of our babies were in neonatal intensive care, so we did meet in adverse condition, and apparently I was pretty perky then, so maybe she’s right…

Anyway, have you noticed that at the end of Winter, magazines begin to dedicate one or two page spreads to New Wonderful Instant Tan products. The naked (with strategic hands and/or chiffon or similar floaty lark) girl is so, so golden toasty gorgeous- not in a scarey gold-coast-70-year-old crocodile-handbag-looking woman way, but in a shiny I-just- have-to step-outside-the –house-and-I-bronze-up-Sunburn-what’s-that? Kind of way.
As someone who is either very white, or very red and then quite flakey and then very white again, I want to be these girls. And every year I truly, truly believe the advertising. ‘But it’s apricot kernel! And olive extract! They’re Mediterranean!! Everyone there is tanned!! Look at how technology has advanced since last year! They’ve discovered that ulcers aren’t caused by stress, I’m sure that they have been working on body products as well! I’m sure that the advertisement had some chick in a white coat…
First I get my legs waxed, and yes, I exfoliate, and yes, I moisture all relevant bits, and then, without fail, I end up with orange knees. Although this latest foray into tannedness resulted in brown knees, now I come to think of it, so maybe things are looking up.


Have just noticed that kitchen is still knee deep in plates, and Captain Sparky Pants is outside hammering and singing Bob the Builder. I’m not surprised, either, which I think probably negates the optimist theory.